LATE NIGHT ALL-NIGHTER CHEESEBURGER

4.7/10

Honestly, I'm surprised I got a chance to review this flavor at all. I'd never seen a bag with my own eyes before yesterday in the city at a supermarket I visit somewhat regularly. I knew that this flavor was (at one point) Mystery Flavor X-13D, and that they decided to sell it full-time, but I didn't think such a thing existed in this state. A loyal reader in Philadelphia sent me a picture of a bag she had acquired about a month ago and this did little but fuel the fire, so I was stoked beyond belief when I was walking out of the store clutching a bag. This was a Chip Trip for the ages.

Anyway, I held off on cracking open the bag so I could do a proper review at home, and here I am 24 hours later munching away. They've grown on me, but it was a HUGE shock to my taste buds at first. I suppose I hadn't really thought through how a Cheeseburger Dorito should taste; there are a million ways regular cheeseburgers taste, so what is this being modeled on?

Turns out it's based on those dollar cheeseburgers you get at McDonald's (trademark). I say McDonald's (trademark) specifically because there is a distinct pickle/mustard/ketchup taste, in addition to the bun, burger, and cheese, which are nondescript so I don't think I can even really pick them out on an actual McD's burger.

I get the feeling that labeling a Dorito flavor as "late night" is supposed to indicate that it's one of the bolder flavors, or maybe that cheeseburgers, like jalapeno poppers and tacos, are something commonly eaten in the wee hours. I've yet to familiarize myself with the very complex world of the Doritos marketing team, so all I'm going to say is that neither these nor Tacos at Midnight are as "bold" as, say, Blazin' Buffalo Ranch or Nacho Cheese, or even (the yet-to-be-reviewed) Cool Ranch. In order to fully get the flavor you have to eat a few of these in quick succession, which, unfortunately, encourages me (and probably you) to wolf down half a bag of these without really realizing what's up.

Anyway, what my opinion of Cheeseburger Doritos comes down to is, essentially, what I think of McDonald's (trademark) cheeseburgers, and what I think of throwing whatever that is on a tortilla chip. These Doritos, much like regular McD's cheeseburgers, are somewhat inoffensive, but I could see having some of these every so often, much like their burger counterpart. In chip form these may or may not be moderately better for you, but I'm actually going to give points, since filling a bowl with these babies is a lot easier than laying out a platter of pre-made cheeseburgers in the heat of your daughter's graduation party. However, if you do make burgers at that, 1.) invite me over and 2.) stick with the Nacho Cheese.

UPDATE: I lowered the score for these from a 7.1 to a 4.7. I felt awful after eating these, and the mere thought of them made me feel queasy for a day or so afterwards. Ick.