2ND DEGREE BURN: FIERY BUFFALO

4.5/10

After the review of Cheeseburger Doritos earlier this week, I thought I would be out of the game for a while. I initially gave those things a pretty decent score (I guess), but in the short period afterwards, I felt pretty bad, and for approximately the next 24 hours, the thought of eating more than I had (about 1/3 of the big bag) made me recall similarly bad feelings. They tasted all right, but in hindsight, they were just not good Doritos.

However, I walked into a gas station today and saw these babies. I had not heard of them before, and the package looked somewhat different from "normal" or "Late Night" Doritos, so I paid a dollar for them without a second thought. I never even drew a parallel between 2nd Degree Burn: Fiery Buffalo and Fiery Habanero, which I had a pretty unpleasant experience with a few posts back.

Anyway, I'm about ten chips in right now. My nose is running like it was with Fiery Habanero, but this time even the initial taste isn't very good. Unfortunately, it doesn't taste anything like the awesome Blazin' Buffalo; if anything, it tastes like Spicy Sweet Chili. Then the spice hits and it's just a wall of "spice." I do not recommend these, although at some point I'm interested to see if they similarly botched "1st Degree Burn: Blazin' Jalapeno."

LAME

Hi,

Thank you for writing to us. As great as that sounds Jack, we don't usually release product news before it hits the shelves. But thank you for thinking of Doritos!

Snack On!

Best regards,

Tina

Someone please tell them that I AM THE BEST!

LATE NIGHT ALL-NIGHTER CHEESEBURGER

4.7/10

Honestly, I'm surprised I got a chance to review this flavor at all. I'd never seen a bag with my own eyes before yesterday in the city at a supermarket I visit somewhat regularly. I knew that this flavor was (at one point) Mystery Flavor X-13D, and that they decided to sell it full-time, but I didn't think such a thing existed in this state. A loyal reader in Philadelphia sent me a picture of a bag she had acquired about a month ago and this did little but fuel the fire, so I was stoked beyond belief when I was walking out of the store clutching a bag. This was a Chip Trip for the ages.

Anyway, I held off on cracking open the bag so I could do a proper review at home, and here I am 24 hours later munching away. They've grown on me, but it was a HUGE shock to my taste buds at first. I suppose I hadn't really thought through how a Cheeseburger Dorito should taste; there are a million ways regular cheeseburgers taste, so what is this being modeled on?

Turns out it's based on those dollar cheeseburgers you get at McDonald's (trademark). I say McDonald's (trademark) specifically because there is a distinct pickle/mustard/ketchup taste, in addition to the bun, burger, and cheese, which are nondescript so I don't think I can even really pick them out on an actual McD's burger.

I get the feeling that labeling a Dorito flavor as "late night" is supposed to indicate that it's one of the bolder flavors, or maybe that cheeseburgers, like jalapeno poppers and tacos, are something commonly eaten in the wee hours. I've yet to familiarize myself with the very complex world of the Doritos marketing team, so all I'm going to say is that neither these nor Tacos at Midnight are as "bold" as, say, Blazin' Buffalo Ranch or Nacho Cheese, or even (the yet-to-be-reviewed) Cool Ranch. In order to fully get the flavor you have to eat a few of these in quick succession, which, unfortunately, encourages me (and probably you) to wolf down half a bag of these without really realizing what's up.

Anyway, what my opinion of Cheeseburger Doritos comes down to is, essentially, what I think of McDonald's (trademark) cheeseburgers, and what I think of throwing whatever that is on a tortilla chip. These Doritos, much like regular McD's cheeseburgers, are somewhat inoffensive, but I could see having some of these every so often, much like their burger counterpart. In chip form these may or may not be moderately better for you, but I'm actually going to give points, since filling a bowl with these babies is a lot easier than laying out a platter of pre-made cheeseburgers in the heat of your daughter's graduation party. However, if you do make burgers at that, 1.) invite me over and 2.) stick with the Nacho Cheese.

UPDATE: I lowered the score for these from a 7.1 to a 4.7. I felt awful after eating these, and the mere thought of them made me feel queasy for a day or so afterwards. Ick.

AN OPEN LETTER

Hello, I'm a huge Dorito enthusiast, and I started a blog a few months ago wherein I review every flavor of Dorito I can find. The blog is located at http://thechiptrip.blogspot.com/. Anyway, I was wondering what new flavors are poised to hit the market, and if I could possibly sample some of these flavors, or some flavors that are not local to the New York area, for review. Any help would be hugely appreciated!

It's been called to my attention a few times recently that I need to start reviewing Doritos again, and I apologize. While I remain alive, I have not had a lot of money lately, and I've been extremely busy with school and music and things like that. That being said, my passion for Doritos remains strong, and I am very proud to "announce" that yesterday I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a bag of LATE NIGHT CHEESEBURGER Doritos. I purchased them and brought them upstate with me, so I hope to review them within the next day or so. Can't hardly wait...