NACHO CHEESE/CRUNCHY TACO DORITOS LOCOS TACOS

6.15923/10

Since the widespread news that 2013 would see the release of the ultra-meta Nacho Cheese/Crunchy Taco Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos, hot on the heels of Taco Bell's new Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco, I've been awaiting the inevitable Chip Trip review. It's too ridiculous not to review, even if my Dorito enjoyment has been more casual as of late.

Anyway, to clear things up for the uninitiated, Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos are not homogeneous chips that taste like Doritos Locos Tacos, which are "traditional" Taco Bell silicone-beef crunchy tacos with a shell coated in Doritos Nacho Cheese flavoring. They are approximately half regular Nacho Cheese Doritos and half of a new flavor, Crunchy Taco. Apart from the fact that these chips carry the Taco Bell logo, it's the same concept as those pretty decent "Collisions" that were around a few years ago. Those were good, so this is a proven concept, rebranded to capture some demographic out there (probably mine). So it's safe, definitely guaranteed to taste decent, and chuckle-worthy enough to at least reach the cusp of going "viral." I appreciate the concept fully, I'd say.

And they taste really decent. The Crunchy Taco Doritos are probably at least partly covered in dried taco "beef" dust, as well as (Julia surmises) some hints of tomato, maybe a little sour cream, probably some cheese. Unfortunately, without the awesome greasy taco texture to distract you from what is probably something you shouldn't be ingesting, it's a little too thought-provoking for the ultimate lack of something (probably salt). I ended up relishing the Nacho Cheese chips whenever I found one and finding Crunchy Taco bland in comparison. Again, Nacho Cheese is a formidable chip with which to be "Collided," but the Frito-Lay think tank is clearly treading water here.

For the record, the proper implementation of this idea is having a rack of Doritos for sale at the cash register of a Taco Bell. You heard it here first.

BONUS JULIA SCORE: 5.5/10
"[Crunchy Taco Doritos] contaminate the Nacho Cheese in a nice way."

DORITOS JACKED SMOKY CHIPOTLE BBQ

6/10

Since my attention to The Chip Trip has lapsed, my love for Doritos has not waned; the intensity of my pursuit of new flavors, however, has. I've tried a variety of Doritos JACKED before, and although I don't remember if it was this flavor or another, I don't believe that JACKED in general is a good direction for these flavored chips to go in, especially in an age when EXTREME marketing is no longer novel or "cool" (I think). For one thing, in the history of Doritos, who has complained that they are too thin? Julia remarked that they feel "stale," and I think this is because these chips have suddenly just become huge, and there aren't the same little air bubbles in the chip to bite through. At first they don't look much bigger, but the crunch is a bit lower frequency-wise, and it's just not as satisfying.

Then there's the flavor. Obviously Doritos JACKED have to be up-front and in-your-face on the flavor front, and the lab geniuses over at Frito Lay are nothing if not adept at finding things that go well together. These things taste pretty good, until you realize that they taste like duller, much spicier Honey BBQ Fritos Flavor Twists (which are incredible, by the way) in chip form. That's a Frito-Lay product too. They're just trying to offload the same shit on fans of Doritos.

Past blog posts may have wistfully looked to the Doritos lab as a prime example of American creativity, but Doritos JACKED Smoky Chipotle BBQ have brought me back to Earth. These are just guys on salary mathematically combining chemicals and conducting focus groups. Anyway, I'm sure they can do better.

BONUS JULIA RATING: 4/10